I had this site made in loving memory of my Nephew Scott who committed Suicide. In the hopes that by sharing his life and his death that maybe just one person would change their minds about committing Suicide. I for one can say that by his death ..I now live. I have thought many times about committing suicide...I truly do know what it feels like to feel unloved, hurt, hopeless and all alone. After Scott died this way I have thought about how many people have suffered because of the death of a loved one by suicide...I have seen how others have committed a suicide because their loved one died this way and they can't seem to live because of their loss. When someone commits suicide they die ..one time ......but those left behind die a little every day ....when a mom sees another mom with thier child ...she dies a little because her child is no longer with her.....We die a little when we feel the warm sun on our backs because we know our love one will never feeel that again....We die everytime we look at thier pictures ...because that is all we have left .....Since Scotts death ..I have thought ....If I had taken my life in this way ...would my child be able to endure this pain that we now feel ..or will my child decide to follow in my steps and commit suicide because he can't live in his pain ....It is UNTHINKABLE !!! So...This is why I want to tell Scott's story ....I live today because he died ......
Scott Cole Walker was born October 28 , 1976.
He was born in Hazlehurst Mississippi .
To Frank and Audrey Walker.
He was a quite but happy little guy. He lived in Crystal Springs, Mississippi for a while and then moved to California. There at the age of about 4 or 5 years old his parents divorced. His dad moved to Chicago and Scott and his mom and brothers moved to Leland,Mississippi. Times began to get a little hard at this time ...A mom trying to raise 3 little boys. After a few years she thought it might be best to let the 2 youngest boys move with thier father for a while. So they moved to Chicago. It was one of the hardest decisions that my sister ever had to make in her life.
In Chicago the boys did well in school, played sports and came and visited us thru the summer. After Scott's death ..this was my hardest time of missing Scott...Every summer when he came he would come and stay at my house a lot because my boys were close to him in age ...I begin to dread the summers coming after his death, it was like I was expecting him to come knowing full well he never would again....
Scott was always a mischevious young boy . I can remember one summer he came to stay with us. Him and my boys decided they wanted to camp out in the pasture next to our house. We had a little three man tent so I allowed them to camp out. Little did I know that night ...they took the shovel over there and dug a hole 5 ft deep so they could burn some wood ...A few days later the man I rented from came and ask about the hole ....What hole I said ...lol ..He had his cows in that pasture and was afraid that his cows would fall in the hole and break a leg...It was fun to dig that hole but they sure did hate to have to go back over there and fill it back in .
Another time was when it had rained for about a week. The fish ponds behind the house had flooded. Scott and my boys then decided they wanted to take our boat and go catch some catfish that had flowed out of the pond. They took a machetti with them to cut away the limbs of the trees to get over to the pond ...Scott jumped into the water to help push the boat thru some trees ...he was cutting away some limbs out of the water ...the machetti sliced thru the water and found his knee ...we then had to carry him to the emergency room to get sewed up ...Boys will be boys they say .....Yep that was my boys for sure .....
Scott finally moved down here when he was 16 or 17 ...Little did we know we would only have him for a few short years. He went to work at Timber Products as a machine operator. He attended church with us for a while and met and fell in love with a young girl ....It was an on and off thing due to her parents not wanting their daughter with some one as old as Scott...She was 14 and he was 17 ....It was a love that just wasn't going to be. During one of their times when they were split up,, Scott had a relationship with another girl ...This girl said she was pregant with Scott's baby. He was on cloud nine about this....after the baby girl was born ..Scott was a wonderful dad to this baby. He absolutely worshiped this child ...He would take her everywhere he went ..bought her everything he seen .But this was not to be either .....Scott had started drinking during this time ....I guess to cover up how he really felt inside.. After the break up with this girl who had his child he began to see the 14 year old again ..this time with the parents ok ..at this time she was 17 and he was 20 ....They had planned to be married and seemed really happy together, but they had their problems, a lot to do with Scott's drinking. Many, many times Scott would come by and cry about his drinking problems. He wanted help. His job even offered to help but when Scott asked for the help ..there were no openings in any of the rehabs around here..He would tell me that all his friends had died violent deaths and he would die that way too.
I put it off to his drinking because that is the only time he ever talked about he would be better off dead........On the day Scott took his life ...His girlfriend whom he dearly loved broke up with him ..the same day the mother of his child told him the baby really was not his ....
On August 17th Scott took his life with a 12 gauge shotgun to his mouth
Don't let this be you ....If you are thinking about or have tried to committ suicide ...PLEASE!! ...talk to someone ....Don't allow your mind to tell you that you are worthless.....Don't let someone have to come on here and say how much they miss the one that they love...Don't let someone who loves you go out and follow in your footsteps and die because they can no longer bear to live with out you .....
If you need help ..reached out and call someone who cares....We do not have to know you to love you and care about you .....
Here is a number that is easy to remember and can help you choose to live instead of dying ............Compassoinate Friends : 1-800-999-9999
May God keep and bless you ....I Care !!!
1976 ~ 1997
Written by:Wanda Farmer
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